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Hey Reader, Every time you’re trying to persuade someone ask yourself: How long should my story be? Or better yet, “how long is just right?” Because the way the story unfolds is what makes or breaks its persuasive power. A story that’s too short may feel flat—missing the depth, detail, and emotion that make it stick. But stretch it out too long, and you risk losing them. Their mind drifts, their eyes glaze over—and your pitch fades into background noise. So, what’s the sweet spot? A good way to look at it is to make sure every word serves a purpose. Every word needs to: ✅ Propel the story forward ✅ Keep your audience engaged Here’s what I mean: Let’s say you’re trying to sell a high-end fitness program. You might feel the urge to include every single detail about how it works like this: Jessica signed up for our program, which includes five workouts per week—two strength training days, two cardio circuits, and one flexibility and mobility session. The meal plan follows a precise 40/30/30 macro split and rotates every four weeks to avoid plateaus. We also provide detailed supplement guides, grocery lists, and instructional videos for every movement in the program. Plus, the program includes a private community forum moderated by certified coaches.
As you can see, this story is overloaded with features. It’s too technical, too long, and completely disconnected from what your prospect actually cares about. It says nothing about the transformation they’re craving—the journey from where they are now to where they want to be. Before you know it, your reader is more interested in the smudge on their screen than what happens next. Now, let’s look at a story that actually paints a vivid picture of their struggles and the outcome they’re after: Jessica had tried every diet and workout plan out there—cutting carbs, tracking every calorie, waking up at 5 a.m. to squeeze in workouts. She was tired, frustrated, and constantly blaming herself for not sticking with anything. Nothing ever seemed to work for more than a few weeks. Then she joined our program. It gave her structure without the overwhelm—and for the first time, she felt like she could actually stay consistent. Within weeks, she was seeing real results. Six months later, she felt stronger, healthier, and completely in control.
See how this version skips all the technical stuff and goes straight to the emotional payoff? It’s about the transformation—not a checklist of features. That’s exactly what your story needs to do if you want to keep your prospect engaged. Zero in on the moments that matter most—like:
Some key tips for crafting concise, persuasive stories: ⭐ Focus on the emotional core – Connect with your audience on a deeper level. Don’t say: “Mark lost 15 pounds in six weeks using our carb-cycling protocol and daily HIIT workouts.” Say: “After six weeks on our strength-based plan, Mark dropped 15 pounds—and he finally fit into clothes he hadn’t worn in years!” ⭐ Use vivid imagery—but sparingly – It’s the spice, not the main course. Don’t say: “Our mobility module includes 15 custom stretches to improve hip and ankle flexibility.” Say: “By week three, you’ll be able to squat without pain—and walk up stairs without gripping the railing.” ⭐ Make your story a mirror – Your audience should see themselves in it, not just observe from a distance. Don’t say: “Before signing up to our 12-week program, Janice failed all her fitness goals.” Say: “Before completing our 12-week program, Janice felt like her body just wasn’t responding—like no matter what she tried, nothing worked.” And if your story starts to drag… guess what? It’s time to sharpen the blade! Trim the fat. Slice out the fluff. Cut it down to the moments that actually matter—the ones that spark emotion and make your reader nod along. You’re not filming a slow, artsy documentary… You’re building a highlight reel that hits hard, moves fast, and leaves them wanting more. Till next week, David |